The Paradigms of Interdependence

Real self-respect comes from dominion over self
Impactful skills naturally flow from a truly independent character

The Emotional Bank Account

This is the amount of trust that's been built up in a relationship
  • Requires constant deposits
When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective

Six Major Deposits

1. Understanding the Individual

You simply don't know what constitutes a deposit until you understand that individual
We tend to think to make assumptions from our own experiences/desires for what other people want or need.
To make a deposit, what is important to another person must be as important to you as the other person is to you
Treat them all the same by treating them differently

2. Attending to the Little Things

People are very sensitive! Be mindful about the smol things

3. Keeping commitments

Make promises sparingly, or else risk a massive withdrawal from the Emotional Bank Account

4. Clarifying Expectations

The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles or goals

5. Showing Personal Integrity

To be trusted is greater than to be loved
Honesty is... conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words.
When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present
It's how you treat the one that reveals how you regard the ninety-nine, because everyone is ultimately one

6. Apologizing Sincerely When You Make a Withdrawal

A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.

The Laws of Love and the Laws of Life

It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses
Dag Hammarskjöld