The Story Of Us All
Job lost everything in one day — his family, his wealth, his health (see Job 1:13-28). Most of us experience our losses more slowly, over the span of a lifetime, until we find ourselves on the door of death, leaving everything behind.
Getting out of the Pain
I like to think I have a high pain tolerance, but I don’t. Maybe I won’t complain, but if there’s an exit door — even if it is unhealthy — I’ll take it.
Dropping our Defensive shields
The quickest way to reach the sun and light of the day is not to run west chasing after it, but to head east into the darkness until you finally reach the sunrise Paraphrased from A Grace Disguised by Gerald Sittser
You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free John 8:32
Writing this on March 4th; as you can see, I took a break from reading. I got busy. About a week after starting this chapter I went through a breakup.
Reading this section, I relate to the common defenses we tend to put up in the face of pain. Minimizing, intellectualizing, distracting. I don’t tell people the true measure of my pain because I do not really like conceptualizing it. When I face it head-on, I am so overwhelmed with emotions. It’s hard to tell how I really feel, but I’m pretty sure what I’ve said to others is not accurate.
Biblical Grieving in Job: God’s Path to New Beginnings
The book of Job illustrates five phases of grieving.
1. Pay Attention
So there’s a literal article written by a biblical scholar entitled, “God Damn God: A Reflection on Expressing Anger in Prayer”.
[Job] paid attention to both God and himself, choosing to enter the confusion of his personal “dark night of the soul” rather than to medicate himself.
This is one of my problems. I don’t really pay attention to God. And I’m not really paying attention to myself, though I let myself feel emotions, it’s more of sulking than facing. And when it’s all over, I’m medicating by running towards distractions.
2. Wait in the Confusing In-Between
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:7) remains one of the most radical commands of our day. It requires enormous humility
In the Psalms, I have been often seeing phrases similar to, “love the Lord and be brave and courageous”. I feel the sentiment is similar to being still and waiting for the Lord. The more I’ve grown older, the more I understand how difficult this truly is. My need for control, for solutions to be implemented, and even waiting in the midst of possessing the ability to get myself out, makes it hard to wait for the Lord.
The confusing in-between resists all earthly categories and quick solutions. It runs contrary to our Western culture that pervades our spirituality. It is for this reason we have such an aversion to the limits God places around us
3. Embrace the Gift of Limits
One of the great tasks of parenting and leadership is to help others accept their limits.
Grieving properly results in humility.
I think I know my limits…
4. Climb the ladder of Humility
Remember this is a choice. I choose this direction in the midst of suffering. I don’t need to come out of suffering changed in this way.
St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility
A twelve-step ladder for growing in the grace of humility, with the goal of personal transformation. This is Pastor Scazzero’s eight-step adaption
- Fear of God and Mindfulness of him.
- Doing God’s Will.
- Willing to Subject Ourselves to the Direction of Others. Do this without grumbling…
- Patient to Accept the Difficulties of Others.
- Radical Honesty to Others about Our Weaknesses/Faults.
- Deeply Aware of Being “Chief of All Sinners”. Not for self-hate, but to make us kind and gentle
- Purposeful to Speak Less (with More Restraint)
- Transformed into the Love of God
Let the Old Birth the New
But remember, resurrection only comes out of death — real death. Our losses are real. And so is our God, the living God.
Nathan here…
All in all starting this book was a timely decision. And so is resuming. My insides feel sore, and I fear that it my choices are causing wounds to fester. Compared to a breakup, there are a lot worse things that can happen. But the reality for me is this hurts a lot, it is causing changes to my behavior, thoughts, sleep. How I treat others, my conversations, and work ethic — I begin to see small leaks…