No one can know God who does not first know Himself Meister Eckhart
Feelings and the Beginning of a Revolution
I cannot deny my own feelings. I should identify them, and I am allowed to express them.
Remember, God feels.
I Feel — even when I am Unaware of it
The problem, however, is that we can’t reflect and respond thoughtfully to our feelings if we don’t know what they are
God speaks to us through a knot in the stomach, muscle tension, trembling and shaking, the release of adrenaline into our bloodstream, headaches, and a suddenly elevated heart rate. God may be screaming at us through our physical body while we look for (and prefer) a more “spiritual” signal
I’m reminded of the powerful emotions I feel when I pray for my relationship with Kaylin. I know a lot of that is from my attachment and neediness. But I have suppressed it instead of responding to it.
Discovering God’s will and my Emotions
Test the spirits, just like 1 John 1:4 says. Understand where my emotions are coming from. Is it my flesh, the enemy, or could God be trying to say something?
In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God. The Cry of the Soul - Dan Allender and Tremper Longman
The Great Temptation Toward a False Self
My experiences of God’s love toward me are the foundation of accepting and loving my true self
Temptation One: I am What I do
I feel like I have success. Using the criteria of success defined by my peers, I have enjoyed successful moments in my career. Pastor Scazzero writes that after tasting success, it is easy to be tempted to find value in success rather than God’s love.
Pastor Richard talked about where does our hope lie. What excites us? What disappoints us? That is where our hope lies. For me, I find career to become an increasing source of excitement, drive, and disappointment.
Temptation Two: I am what I Have
P Scazzero mentions the play Amedeus, just like Tim Keller in Every Good Endevour. ‘Nuff said.
Temptation Three: I am what Others Think
True freedom comes when we no longer need to be somebody special in other people’s eyes because we know we are loveable and good enough
The Deeply Entrenched False Self: Inside and Outside the Church
How well do I know myself? Someone’s feedback showed to me showed me not how blind I was, but how I denied and belittled the importance of my own flaws. Unaddressed issues in my character hurt them. I swept my lack of initiative under the rug because it felt like such a huge stone to move.
“I’ll change in time.”
But there’s truth in what they say: “People don’t really change.” That’s what David, my CG leader said. People don’t really change. And change in myself, while necessary, will be slow.
If I don’t recognize my true self, address myself, it will only hurt myself and those around me.
Jesus’ True Self
Jesus was unashamedly, gently, patiently, and confidently was his true self. This caused many problems, most problems aimed at himself. Yet he still knew his own value, took care of himself, and gave his life out of love for others
Differentiation: Living Faithful to your true self
Differentiation:
[A person’s capacity to] define his or her own life goals and values apart from the pressures of those around them. Murray Bowen
This is imperative to be in relationship with someone, to be myself with true distinction, even in the midst of disagreement and emotions.
Bowen’s scale
0-25
Little energy for goal-directed activities
What even are my goal-drected activities???
Emotionally needy and highly reactive to others
Ask my mom LOL
25-50
Quick to imitate others
^ totally me
Self-esteem sores with compliments or is crushed by criticism
Workday...
50-75
Aware of the thinking and feeling functions that work as a team
Stay in relational connection with others without insisting they see the world the same
75-100 (very rare)
Is principle oriented and goal directed — secure in who they are, unaffected by criticism or praise
Bein unaffected by BOTH criticsm and praise is something I feel like I’ve made progress on.
Aware of dependence on others and responsibility for others
Developing Your Authentic Self
This journey feels discouraging. It is hard to pursue change. However, the God of the universe desires this, and in His name I am free!
1. Pay attention to your Interior in Silence and Solitude
Feel my uncensored feelings —> journal —> Go to God —> repeat —> reflect
Go sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything Abbot Moses
2. Find Trusted Companions
Let the person who cannot be alone beware of community. Let the person who is not in community beware of being alone Deitrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together
We are to be “alone together”
Our own stubborn self-will is much deeper and more insidious than we think
Thus, without others, how can I avoid my own traps?
3. Move out of my Comfort Zone
It tends to be uncomfortable to be my true self, especially with the pressures we feel to please others
4. Pray for Courage
Interestingly, Pastor Scazzero claims that when one changes, there tend to be a few people around them who are upset with that change. There will be pressures to stay the same. Pray for courage to overcome these pressures, especially when they come from people who are close.
Expect that you may stir up some profound emotionality!
God and the Sound Barrier
“Shaking” comes with such transformation, but God is an accessible God and His grace is sufficient to make the challenge feel easier when the circumstances become harder.